


Heaven Was Needing A Hero

by LokiLover84



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 13:56:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3384134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiLover84/pseuds/LokiLover84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say to write what you know, so I took the feelings I had from when my own daughter passed away and worked it into a story. Just a short ficlet of Jensen's reaction to the passing of his and Jared's daughter. Warning-- mentions of child death, and very sad reactions to it. Please, if this might be a trigger for you, I advise you proceed with caution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven Was Needing A Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who has ever lost a child will recognize the inability to put such an ocean of grief into words. There is no way to accurately describe this, so I did my best.

The day was sunny, and it shouldn’t have been. It should have been grey and miserable, with rain falling, cold and depressing. It just wasn’t fair that the sky was so achingly beautiful, and that the sun shone so brightly. 

Jensen stood all alone, surrounded by his friends and family, but they knew better than to touch him, and all their condolences couldn’t change anything. Words couldn’t fix his broken heart, nor heal his bereft lover, lying alone in the hospital, unable to even come to see their child laid to rest. 

The casket was so tiny, decked out in white ruffles and tiny bits of lace. Jensen wondered at it for a moment. He hadn’t even known they made caskets that small. But seeing it, setting there above that giant, yawning dark hole, hit it home just once more. 

He couldn’t stand any longer, and he fell to his knees, unable to feel the scratchiness of the tent floor under him, nor the poking of the rocks under the thin fabric. Tears streamed down his face, blurring his vision to a smear of dim colors, and he screamed. 

The sounds just came out, ripped from a dark place deep within him. They were raw, animalistic, full of pain, and longing, and a want that no words would ever be able to express. The quiet murmur of those surrounding him were cut off suddenly at his outburst, but no one moved, no one could bring themselves to come forward in the wake of his grief. 

Until. A soft, warm, firm hand covered his shoulder, and suddenly, he was wrapped in a warm hug. There was a quiet voice murmuring in his ear, and his cries subsided to heart-wrenching sobs as he clutched the body in front of him, tears soaking the fabric of the shirt he clutched as if it were a lifeline. Slowly, the words pierced the fogginess of his mind, and he recognized the voice. 

“Jensen, sweetheart, it’s ok. I’m here. Shhh, I know, I know, baby. It’s ok, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Misha pulled Jensen into his lap, holding the other man like a child, rocking him slowly as Jensen cried and cried, letting every last bit of his anger, and sadness, and sense of injustice whip through him. Finally, slowly, he subsided to chest-heaving occasional sobs and little hiccups. 

“Baby. Jensen. Can you stand?”

A small nod had Misha rising carefully to his feet, pulling Jensen up with him. Misha kept his arms wrapped around Jensen, giving him a firm foundation to cling too as the minister made quick work of the eulogy. The crowd came by, one at a time and briefly touched his shoulder, but no one spoke, everyone knowing that there was nothing more that could be said. 

When the last person filed by, then left, Misha guided Jensen to stand at the head of the casket of his tiny daughter. 

“Jensen, I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. But baby, you need to say goodbye. Tell her how much you love her, and then let her go.”

Jensen didn’t know how he did it, but he nodded and placed one hand on the tiny box. 

“Faith. My darling little girl. I miss you so bad it feels like my heart is breaking in two. But I know… You’re looking over me and your daddy. I… We’ll miss you, baby girl. But I know you’re safe and happy, where you are….”

Jensen had to stop as his throat closed up, and he turned to Misha, his green eyes full of tears and misery, and Misha nodded. 

“It was perfect. She knows you love her, and you know she loves you. Now, c’mon, baby. There’s still someone here who needs you.”

Misha guided Jensen to his car and helped him in, then climbed in himself, starting the car and heading for the hospital, where Jared lay waiting, needing his lover as much as Jensen needed him. Misha knew instinctively that the two of them would need time, but with time, that they could heal each other. 

And as a ray of sunshine fell into the car, Misha could feel that everything would be ok.


End file.
